“Parenting” Session 6:
Let’s Talk About Sex
Read Chapter 13 of Raising Giant-Killers before beginning this study.
The Rule of First Mention
In his book, Moral Revolution, Kris Vallotton makes the argument that the first person who teaches us about a subject establishes the standard by which we measure all new information of its kind. If we wait to establish a healthy context for Godly sexuality until our children are too old, culture will set the standard for our children’s perspective on sex for us. If this happens, we will be fighting an uphill battle from this point forward. It is important to remember that, if sexuality is associated with shame, that shame will drive our children into exploring sexuality in secret.
1. Have you established a strategy for handling the topic of sexuality with your children?
2. What is an appropriate age to begin having these kinds of conversations? Keep in mind that media gives children access to sexual content earlier than you probably expect. Discuss this topic with your small group.
Setting Standards for Dating
This concept of discussing sexuality with your children becomes much more practical when they get to an age where they can begin dating. The author uses a story about his son, Eric, crossing the highway outside his house as a metaphor for setting strict standards to protect our children and teach them the consequences of disobedience.
1. What standards do you have in your own home to protect your children from the disastrous effects of going outside God’s design for sexuality?
2. Read over Bill and Beni’s standards for godly dating on page 158 of Raising Giant-Killers. Discuss these standards in your small group.
The Importance of Purity
The only way to avoid shame is by righteous living, expressed in purity. We must teach our children the beauty of choosing to live within God’s design. It is not enough to tell your children, “Sex outside of marriage is wrong.” You must tell them why sex inside marriage is better. God created sex to be enjoyed. We, as parents, have the responsibility for modeling this reality for our children, showing them the goodness of choosing God’s way.
1. Are you prepared to address the topic of sexual purity with your children?
2. Do you have a game plan for protecting your children from pornography?
3. If your children fail in the area of sexuality, what steps do you have in place to help them seek restoration and wholeness?
4. Discuss these topics in your small group. Compare notes.