“Parenting” Session 3:
Self-Control and Discipline
Read chapters 6–7 of Raising Giant-Killers before beginning this study.
Parenting with Power
God created us to live intentional lives. As parents, we need to be responders, not reactors. If we want our children to be powerful people who demonstrate self-control, we must model this for them. One of the most practical ways we do this is through our own communication with others. We set the example for how to communicate honor within the home.
To begin this session, read the bullet points on pages 72-75 of Raising Giant-Killers.
1. Which points on communication stand out to you? Discuss these points in your small group.
2. What kind of example are you setting in your home? Do you act like a “powerful person?”
Guarding Your Child’s Heart
If we want to raise children who will change the world, we must help them overcome their own giants before they can conquer the giants in society. We must remember what Proverbs 4:23 teaches, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.”
1. How are you doing in caring for your own heart? How does this affect your ability to look after the heart of your child?
2. Are you having intentional conversations with your children about the issues that they are facing in their own lives?
Discipline is one of the best tools we have for guarding our child’s heart. This is a controversial topic in today’s day and age, but it is essential that we understand what is godly discipline and how to implement it in our own families. In his introduction to this topic, the author makes the case that, without the discipline of their parents, children are never able to fully develop discipline within themselves.
1. What do you think? Is this true? Can you think of examples to support this assertion in today’s society? Discuss with your small group.
We see two extremes in our society: parents who abuse discipline and take out their own un-dealt-with frustrations on their children; and parents who neglect discipline altogether. Both abuse and neglect have the same disastrous consequences. Biblical discipline is given in order to teach your children powerful self-control. The goal is never to intimidate or threaten your child with punishment in the spur of the moment. Discipline must be intentional.
1. How do you feel that you are doing in this area? Do you find yourself disciplining your children as a way of getting immediate results, or are you strategically choosing the time and method of discipline to build lifelong character?
2. Have your children learned to obey your instructions immediately, or do you find yourself having to raise your voice before they respond?
3. Practice giving instructions and following through with consequences immediately if disobeyed. You want your children to learn to respond to your instruction and not just your emotional reactions.
4. Read over Bill Johnson’s discipline process on pages 88 and 89 of Raising Giant-Killers. What stands out? Discuss this process in your small group.
5. Use Bill Johnson’s disciple process as a template to create your own unique disciple strategy. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you.